Have you ever noticed what happens when someone starts a strict diet?
For a week or two, they're incredibly disciplined.
No chocolate.
No takeaways.
No treats.
No coffee.
No eating out.
Everything is measured, restricted and controlled.
Then one day, life happens.
A birthday.
A stressful week at work.
A weekend away.
A family celebration.
The diet falls apart.
And what often follows?
Guilt.
Frustration.
The feeling that they've somehow failed.
I see exactly the same thing happen with money.
People decide they're going to "be good."
No buying lunch.
No coffees.
No shopping.
No little treats.
They promise themselves they'll stick to a strict budget.
For a little while, it works.
Then real life gets in the way.
And suddenly they feel like they've failed.
But here's what I've learned after more than 30 years working with people and their finances.
A spending plan should never feel like a punishment.
Money isn't about deprivation.
It's about intention.
One of the conversations during a recent workshop really stood out to me.
We were discussing essential and non-essential spending.
Someone mentioned coffee with friends.
Another talked about eyelash extensions.
Someone else admitted they loved streaming services.
There was laughter around the room as everyone started recognising their own "little indulgences."
The interesting part wasn't what people spent money on.
It was what those purchases meant to them.
For one person, coffee wasn't simply coffee.
It was connection.
It was friendship.
It was protecting their mental wellbeing after a busy week.
For another person, looking after their appearance helped them feel confident and professional.
These weren't simply expenses.
They reflected their values.
There is no universal definition of "essential."
Financial advice often tries to put spending into two neat categories.
Needs.
And wants.
While that can be useful, real life is rarely that simple.
For example, someone living with a medical condition may have expenses others don't.
A parent might prioritise activities that create memories with their children.
Someone who works in a client-facing role may spend more on professional presentation.
What's essential for one person may be completely unnecessary for another.
That's why I encourage people to stop asking,
"Should I spend money on this?"
Instead, ask,
"Is this important enough to me that I'm happy to spend money on it?"
That single question changes everything.
Give every dollar a purpose.
One of my favourite approaches is creating what I call a guilt-free spending allowance.
After you've allocated money for your essential expenses...
After you've paid yourself first...
After you've put money towards your future...
What's left is yours to enjoy.
Without guilt.
Without second-guessing yourself.
Without feeling like you've broken the rules.
Whether that's lunch with friends.
A good book.
Fresh flowers.
A concert.
Or your favourite café.
You've already made the important decisions.
Now you can enjoy your money with confidence because you've been intentional.
Financial freedom isn't about never buying coffee.
I often smile when people blame coffee for financial struggles.
The coffee usually isn't the problem.
The problem is spending unconsciously.
Buying something because it's become a habit.
Paying for subscriptions you've forgotten about.
Making impulse purchases simply because they're easy.
When you spend with intention, even small treats can fit comfortably into your financial plan.
Money should support your life.
Not control it.
Balance always wins.
Think about the healthiest people you know.
Most of them don't survive on extreme diets.
They've simply developed sustainable habits.
The same is true with money.
The goal isn't perfection.
It's consistency.
Small habits.
Repeated often.
Over time.
That's where financial confidence comes from.
Not from denying yourself everything you enjoy.
But from making sure your spending reflects what matters most.
One simple exercise
This week, I invite you to write down three things you regularly spend money on that genuinely improve your life.
Then write down three things you spend money on simply out of habit.
You might be surprised by the difference.
Keep the things that bring you joy.
Question the things that don't.
Because creating wealth isn't about removing happiness from your life.
It's about making sure your money is helping you build the life you actually want.
Your Next Step
If you've ever felt guilty about money, I'd like to encourage you to remember this:
Financial confidence isn't about being perfect.
It's about making thoughtful decisions, one choice at a time.
If this newsletter resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you.
Simply reply and tell me:
What's one thing you happily spend money on because it genuinely adds value to your life?
I'd love to feature some of your responses (anonymously) in a future newsletter.
Because sometimes the best financial lessons come from each other.
Warmly,
Kara Northcott
Financial Educator & Facilitator
Helping New Zealanders gain the knowledge, clarity and confidence to make smarter financial decisions.
027 666 6784
📩 kara@financialconsultant.co.nz
🌐 kara-northcott-financial-consultant.kit.com
Just a quick reminder that my Your Money, Your Future, Your Choices workshop is coming up.
If you're a woman earning a good income but wondering whether you're really on track for the future you want, I'd love you to join me.
We'll explore financial decision-making, retirement planning, investing and how to feel more confident about the choices you're making with your money.
Tuesday 6 October & Tuesday 13 October
7:30pm | Online
Two evenings to focus on your money, your future and your choices.
I’d love to see you there!
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